Please: Hang my psychology diplomas on my wall, so I’m reminded of my accomplishments. Display family photos, so I feel surrounded by my loved ones. If I have Dementia, label my photos so the staff can talk to me about my family and help me to remember. Put a quilt or bedspread on my … Read more
Occasionally I pull up a chair to sit with the residents in the hallway, chatting and watching the passersby. One thing I’ve noticed is the vast difference in perspective between eye level and viewing from above. This difference becomes most shockingly clear when the aides wheel the shower chair, with their naked charges covered only … Read more
97-year old Rosebud, whom I mentioned in my 11/15/08 post, was a social worker, raised two children, and now lives in a nursing home. She would like to share with you the following thoughts about recreational activities: “Old folks know a lot and need to have their minds stimulated. We residents can’t speak back and … Read more
I once dated a man who didn’t speak nicely to me. I don’t know when his endearments changed into negative comments, because, frankly, I didn’t notice them until I returned from a solo weekend vacation. “Hmmn,” I thought to myself after he threw a verbal barb at me upon my return, “they didn’t talk that … Read more
I recently met a new resident who demanded almost constant attention from her loved ones. Her family visited daily for hours at a time, and she’d call them soon after they’d left and tell them she was lonely. Trying to please her, they were exhausted, frustrated, irritable, and terribly sad. I reminded her tearful daughter … Read more
And 83-year old Albertha assured me her family was planning to take her home for the holidays. “Have you talked to them about it? Have they called the social worker to arrange a pass, and meds, and transportation?” “No,” she replied, “but they’re coming to get me.” ‘Twas the week after Christmas, and Albertha … Read more
Talking to a medical doctor is not like talking to a normal person. In a regular conversation, one person says, “Hi. How are you?” The other says, “Fine. And yourself?” And they go from there. If busy Dr. Shah stops by Ms. Crenshaw’s room, inquires how she is, and hears that she’s “Fine,” he’s likely … Read more
Over the years I’ve worked in nursing homes, my sister has come into the building exactly once. That experienced so disturbed her that she subsequently waited outside in her car, phoning on her cell when she’d arrived to meet me. My sister isn’t unique in her reaction. Nursing homes are places we like to … Read more
Setting Boundaries With Residents by Eleanor Feldman Barbera, PhD Becoming close to residents, but not too close, takes wisdom “Can you do me this one small favor?” Estelle H. asked, looking up at her aide imploringly. “Can you get me a birthday card to send to my granddaughter?” Ms. Skinner sighed, thinking … Read more
Managing Resident Requests for Help By Eleanor Feldman Barbera, PhD The Shouters, the Constant Call Bell Ringers and the Complainers don’t have to be that way—you can reshape their behavior Once, when I was new to a facility, I came up to the second floor to find a resident, named Paula, shouting “Nurse, … Read more